A Response to ‘The Consequence of Our Convenience’

By Deep Vakil, Class of 2020

Following the events of the Vice-Chancellor’s Townhall, which inter alia announced the night curfew, an article was published in the columns of this newspaper, on 2nd October, titled “The Consequence of Our Convenience,” authored by Vaibhav Parik, someone I know as a batchmate, colleague, and friend. The suggestion to write this article came from one of my conversations with him. The intended purpose is to register my disagreement with some of the views he expressed, to make a defense, if I may, of the stance taken by the Student Government, and in the process, to offer an alternative take on the matter that he raised in his article. I would like it to be known that the views expressed in this article are neither limited to, nor by virtue of, my capacity as an elected Representative.

At the very onset, allow me to voice my resounding affirmation for some of the views that Vaibhav expressed: the apparent discomfort we have with broaching discourses that challenge our convenience and entitlement; the justification of our irresponsible behaviour in the name of freedom and social justice; the lack of initiative aimed towards issues that face us as a community; and, the suggestion to constructively engage with this through organised conversation. However, I wish to note that there is one slight inconsistency in his article that must be reconciled before I proceed to put forth my arguments — the characterisation of our University. In the very first paragraph, Ashoka is referred to as “a certain established product,” but in the seventh one, it is (more aptly, in my view) described as “merely a five-year old institution that is not perfect and may not have all the right systems in place.” I think we can agree that the latter is a more acceptable way to think about Ashoka, and I would take this as my starting point.

When the Vice-Chancellor was posed with the final question at the townhall about whether he deems us worthy of consultation, he concluded with a joke, and the punchline went along the lines of: “You are a product of this University.” Not only is this an assertion that dismantles all pre-existing notions that we have about the relationship between the administration and the students of this University, it is also one that I find frightening. By comfortably joking about this at such a platform as the townhall, the Vice-Chancellor is breaking the promise of Ashoka: that in its formative stages, the students play a role in shaping its legacy. Unlike already established universities like Oxford, which attract students with their experience, and excellence, Ashoka offers us this promise. A promise that is made to us from the moment the Founders call it an Ivy League in the making, to the time that the Vice-Chancellor himself addresses the incoming students and parents on the first day of the Orientation Week, saying that “[this] is what distinguishes an education at Ashoka from every other institution.” His remarks at the townhall, then, come as nothing short of a betrayal of the administration’s word.

This brings us to the second point in Vaibhav’s article that I would like to respond to. He suggests that the students “hastily generalise and blame [the administration] for the slightest of flaws,” which only propagates more hate towards them; that “we want to make this an us-against-them matter.” I beg to differ here — particularly in reference to the stance taken by the SG. I refuse to concede that it is a conscious effort by, or in the best interests of, any of us to otherize the administration. In fact, everything that the SG must do to affect long term change can only happen with the authorisation of the administration. Our budget is subject to their approval; our concerns are subject to their perusal; our ideas are subject to their consideration; even our meetings are in a way subject to the availability of rooms. We might tend to take for granted their cooperation on all these matters, but what must not be forgotten is that they may chose to withdraw their support any second they deem fit, significantly impeding our work, albeit not halting it altogether. Why is it, then, that we are still charged with antagonising the administration? Because there is one very significant development in recent times, that we cannot stay silent about without betraying our duties and our conscience — the increasingly paternalistic approach of the administration. The night curfew is just the latest in line of several recent decisions that not only disregard what the student body has widely expressed, but altogether overlook the consultative step of the process: the survey for cross-residence access, the case of the CCTV cameras, and the policy on porn and cross-batch emails. This is not to say, that there is no way to call out this problematic pattern without necessarily alienating the administration, and the attempt has been to continue employing such means. However, with this backdrop, I feel that if this trade-off is considered inevitable, we should nonetheless demand our rightful say in the decision-making process. We do not owe a cordial and cooperative attitude to a party, if they simply refuse to acknowledge our stake in the conversation.

Finally, the concluding argument of Vaibhav’s article was that the night curfew is “a collective repercussion of the lack of an inclusive discourse about the culture of substance abuse;” our inaction “is definitely the biggest contributing factor of this fallout.” I would argue that it is fallacious to think of the night curfew as a fallout that befell us because of something that we as a community took a fall for (or in this case, failed to do). It does not take a very close look to notice the whataboutery in pointing out our inaction, which, albeit deplorable and worthy of attention, in no way exonerates the administration of its own shortcomings. The insufficient communication, and lack of transparency, is in stark contrast with what students learn within the classrooms of this university. Afterall, if a university’s administration is not consistent with its own value system, where are the students to look for inspiration? Moreover, as for the lack of discourse, or the delay in creating it, why is it exclusive to demanding our seat at the negotiation table? Is it not for us to introspect as a community why we are repulsed from any discourse that compels us to think of ourselves as anything more than atomised individuals? Can it have something to do with the prevalent sentiment of disdain for anything that serves as a reminder of our existence as a collective, and responsibilities thereof, such as our cultural fest Banjaara or even the Student Government for that matter? These are all pressing questions, but none that preclude us from asserting our right to being consulted. If anything, this discourse and the process of consultation are complementary and mutually reinforcing.

A simple thought experiment can help elucidate this point. First, note that despite the night curfew not having been implemented yet, there is already an exponential decline in the number of students who can be seen outside campus on Thursday nights, owing in part also to the advisories. Now, imagine the same townhall with the Vice-Chancellor, except he does not announce the curfew at the end as something they have decided to impose on us but mentions it as an option that is being considered. They then give us a week to 10 days to have discussions among and within ourselves, and in that time, the SG is asked to collate all the feedback and inputs from the students. It can reasonably be foreseen that these discussions would have been of a nature similar to the ones that we had this time around. At the end of the stipulated time period, the SG would present this collated feedback to them, and seeing how many students welcomed the decision even when it was imposed, it can be said that had the process been consultative, the proportion of students in agreement would have at least stayed the same, if not been higher. Even if it had been lower, what matters is that that is what the student body conveyed to the administration, and that the administration considers us “[its] colleagues and [its] peers,” not products that are passively subjected to its decisions.

On a parting note, students might be relieved to know that our endeavours in the aftermath of the townhall have borne some fruit. Our condemnation of the imposition of the night curfew, the subsequent email, the open House meetings, and the counter-proposal that we unanimously stood by, have certainly had some impact. The Residence Life Team invited us to meet on 4th October, as well as 11th October (both befittingly happen to be Thursday evenings), to discuss the policy draft, and some of the concerns that we raised at that meeting seem to have resonated with them strongly. The policy is still being drafted, we have been told that they would run the draft by us before it comes into force, and hopefully, the resultant policy will be more carefully thought out and encompassing of all our demands. Simultaneously, we must ensure that the impending discourse around substance abuse is initiated and the various accompanying nuances are explored. This is our chance to shape the legacy that we leave for future batches. This is our chance to learn from our past errors, and grow as a community. This is our chance to meet up to our end of the promise that Ashoka holds.

Deep Vakil is a Politics and Society major and IR minor, from the Undergraduate Class of 2020. He is also a member of the Fourth House of Representatives, and occupies the seat of the Minister of Parliamentary Affairs in the Cabinet.

The Mauryan Debates

Apply here to participate in the debate!

When the current Editorial Board took over The Edict at the turn of the year, we had outlined our commitment to our readers and this University: “The Edict’s presence is a response to the unfortunate invasion of Ashokan discourse by social media, which has precipitated a move from reading and writing to scrolling and ranting.”

In keeping with our pledge, we bring to you the Mauryan Debates. This shall be a set of 5 One versus One Debates on contemporary campus issues that are polarizing and have been the subject of Facebook debates, dinner table discussions and often heated conversations. The role of a newspaper is to not just report on these matters but also to facilitate discourse, dialogue and dissent. These Debates shall be an opportunity for us to come together as a community and vociferously, yet prudently, partake in public discussion.

The ancient emperor in whose name our University flourishes was a champion of reason, public deliberation and argumentative discourse. The most important of the 4 historic ‘Buddhist Councils’ was organized in the 3rd Century BC, by Emperor Ashoka. These councils didn’t just concern themselves with religious principles but also offered an opportunity for open public discourse. In following with this tradition, and what we consider the responsibilities of a newspaper, we present to you this event.

There shall be no time limit for the speakers. However, they will have to abide by the word limit for pieces submitted to the Opinions Sections: 1000+200 words. All those who are interested will have to register their interest with us ahead of time, and the pieces need to be submitted to us before midnight on Sunday (23rd September).

The motions for the 1st Mauryan Debates are as follows:

“Perfectly abled individuals should not have the right to take the lift to the 1st floor.”
“The proceedings and subsequent results of cases being tried by the Committee Against Sexual Harassment (CASH) should not be confidential.”
“A Student Government is futile at Ashoka University.”
“Are Ashoka’s students worthy of Emperor Ashoka’s ideals?”
“Ashoka University as an idea has failed.”

On the 24th of September, Monday, the Multi Purpose Hall in the Academic Bloc shall transfigure into our very own Agora. We expect one and all to join us embodying the greek spirit of ἀγορεύω (‘Speaking in Public’), while staying true to the spirit of tolerance, parley and hearkening that Ashoka stood for.

“Concord therefore is meritorious, to wit, hearkening and hearkening willingly to the law of piety as accepted by other people. For it is the desire of his Sacred Majesty that adherents of all sects should hear much teaching and hold sound doctrine.”

– Emperor Ashoka, Major Rock Edict XII.

Apply here to participate in the debate! You could also write to us at edict@ashoka.edu.in.

Adapting to Berkeley Standard Time

Sameer Nayak tells us about studying Industrial Psychology, scouring Durant Avenue for the best spots to eat and finding stray pianos around campus.

Major at Ashoka: Double major in Economics and Psychology

Course(s) at UC Berkeley: Social Psychology, Industrial Psychology

BERKELEY STANDARD TIME !

That’s an official thing here at Berkeley, where every class begins at least ten minutes late. Even the professors have come to accept this and advise us to not reach class before time! ‘Berkeley Time’ kind of signifies the atmosphere at UC Berkeley, where it’s common to spot people sunbathing or having a coffee, lost in their music. The UC Berkeley campus gives out very relaxing vibes, but don’t be misled by the laid-back atmosphere because underneath it, you will find plenty of motivated students hustling quietly in some corner.

The first thing that will hit you is the sheer number of pedestrians and cyclists. You will spot very few cars, as many students either take a long walk to class, or hire a bicycle to cover longer distances. The climate is great, so walking around campus is a pleasure.

Incidentally, during my stay here, the World Cup was underway and being an ardent football fan, I was pleased to discover a place where I could enjoy it — ‘Pappy’s Grill’. A nice little sports bar with good grills, it gets quite crowded during any major sporting event. Be careful to not get tossed around when a match goes on!

Berkeley has fantastic food unless you are on a meal plan, in which case you will have to juggle between your bad decision and spending extra bucks on good food. That said, the Berkeley mess is much better than the one back home. Berkeley as a town has much more to offer. ‘Durant Avenue’ is the go-to street for food enthusiasts. It has everything: from Korean and Thai, to Italian and Indian cuisine. A few must try restaurants in Berkeley are: Top Dog, Thai Basil, Gypsy’s Trattoria and La Burrita.

The University Campus is really pretty. The path towards Sather Gate (the official University Gate) is usually filled with volunteers, so expect to get startled by sudden requests for a signature supporting various issues.

Berkeley is a college town driven by music and art. You can find plenty of niched yet aesthetic gifts shops, like Twisted Thistle and Tail of The Yak. There is also a great art-supplies shop called ‘Blicks Art Material’, (credits to Kriti Garg from the undergraduate batch of 2017 for telling me about this). I highly recommend visiting Rasputin Music and Amoeba Music for antique music pieces and records. One particular aspect I really found interesting in Berkeley was the concept of public pianos and keyboards. You just need to look around carefully to spot one.

As for my classes, I did not notice much difference between Berkeley and Ashoka.

It actually felt like taking just another regular Ashokan course, but with a beautiful landscape around and great weather.

I took two psychology courses, and both were really good (Definitely take the Industrial Psychology course, as it is not available at Ashoka, and my professor at the time was incredible). This course will shape you into a semi-professional HR executive!

One major/important benefit from Ashoka was that my knowledge about subjects other than my own really helped me in making conversation with students of other disciplines. I could see myself keeping up with professors and students on topics of art, literature and even philosophy.

Now, I am personally known to be a slacker among my friends but somewhere, between living separately from my home group and the beautiful view from my study table, I found myself studying harder, but what really made the difference at the end I think, was the passing mark. For most courses, the passing percentage is seventy! So as I mentioned earlier, underneath all these chilled vibes and smiling faces, the students do work well into the night to simply cross the line.

On an ending note I have a few bits of advice:

Student trips are a great way to explore surrounding areas like San Francisco, Yosemite National Park and the Bay Area in general (and it’s a great way to get to know other summer students).
Always carry your student ID around. You could be visiting a local attraction and might get a chance to avail a student discount on several facilities.
I struggled for the first few days with the public transport (known as Transbay Area Services) but here’s a tip for that: The route F is for San Francisco and route 51B is for areas within Berkeley jurisdiction.
San Francisco is to Berkeley as Delhi is to Sonipat, so you will find yourself going there a lot on weekends.
Age restriction for alcohol, cigarettes and various herbs is 21. So be expected to be shooed away if you do not have a proper ID. The same goes for pubs in San Francisco so be prepared in advance.
Last but not the least just enjoy and don’t forget the Berkeley Time!

Disclaimer: The Edict would like to thank Ms. Anuja Kelkar from the Office of International Programs for her support in making this series possible. Ms. Kelkar is the one-woman army at the office who helps Ashokans with the arduous process of applying for and attending summer school. If you wish to attend summer school during your time at Ashoka, it might be best to approach Ms. Kelkar as the first step.

Student Government Introduces New House System for Intra-College Activities

Akshaya Jose Devasia, Class of 2020

In the orientation week for the Undergraduate batch of 2021, the Student Government announced the beginning of a new ‘house system’.

The houses will be named after the primary Ashokan cities Taxila, Pataliputra, Ujjain, Nalanda, and Kalinga.

This is, in the words of a member of the Cultural ministry Rithika Abraham, an initiative to ‘instill a spirit of competition and sportsmanship within the Ashokan community’. She explained that this idea sprung from the SG’s realization that a majority of the student body tends to get so heavily wrapped up in academics that they barely engage in communal fun games or events outside the classroom.

The SG is hoping a programme of this nature would promote greater student participation in cultural and sports activities at a university level.

Currently, membership is mandatory for the First-Years, the YIFs and members of the house. Arnav Mohan Gupta, the Cultural Minister, said this would both give them a ‘house identity’ and be another opportunity to bring the YIFs and Undergraduate students together.

History Repeats Itself?

While this new initiative seems like a fantastic way to bring the Ashokan community closer, a similar house system was introduced by the Sports department in the past, and it failed to garner the participation and generate enough interest.

However, Arush Pande, the president and a vocal supporter of this system, remains very optimistic about the success of the house system this time. He says the chances of this student-led initiative backed up by a majority of the government are higher.

He said the SG was looking at building Ashokan traditions and instilling a sense of Ashokan spirit across the community. Arnav too emphasized that the approach and plan this time are relatively more detailed and well-planned.

A previous version of this article stated that the Office of Student Life started a house system in the past. The article has been edited to fix this error.

Ashoka Team Beats 29 Colleges to Win the Asian Parliamentary Debate

Pragyna Divakar, Class of 2020

From Left to Right — Jibraan Mansoor, Nachiket Vaidya, and Aritro Bose

A group of three Ashokans — Jibraan Mansoor (UG 18), Nachiket Vaidya (UG 20), and Aritro Bose (UG 19) — participated in the Asian Parliamentary Debate held in SSCBS, Rohini, on the 1st, 2nd and 4th of September. After clearing the five preliminary rounds as well as the quarters and semis, the trio won the final round, beating 29 other colleges. They won Rs. 33,000 as prize money for the debate.

The Asian Parliamentary Debate covered a wide range of topics including medical rights, activism, religion, international relations, and communism. The topics of politics, and gender, which was the focus of the final round, were particularly enjoyed by our winners.

“There was a lot of focus on gender”, commented Aritro. “That was a refreshing difference from most other colleges because gender is a thing that a lot of people tend to compartmentalize”.

Nachiket, for whom this was a first win, remarked that teaming up with two of his closest friends on campus was a rewarding experience.

The three students are seasoned debaters. They are also active members of the Ashoka Debating Union. This semester, they hope to have more on-campus debates in addition to participating in those held in other colleges.

This weekend, Jibraan, Nachiket, and Aritro will be participating in Trivium, a debate hosted by Punjab Engineering College, Chandigarh.

Ashoka Administration Hints at Possible Disciplinary Action for SSP Visitors

Rohini Sharma, Class of 2020

Today, the student body of Ashoka received an advisory e-mail from the Vice-Chancellor’s Office regarding the establishments that provide drugs and alcohol in the vicinity of Ashoka. The notice reminded students that their presence at these establishments could be ‘construed as possible grounds for disciplinary action by Ashoka University’.

Ashoka Students Visiting Illegal Establishments Outside Campus

The advisory discouraged members of the Ashoka student body from visiting illegal establishments located near the college campus citing safety and security reasons.

Mr. Sachin Sharma, registrar of Ashoka University and one of the undersigned of the message, explained that “this is not a rule but an advisory sent to you [the students]”. He emphasized that one’s presence at an illegal establishment is only possible, not definitive, grounds to receive a disciplinary infraction.

Mr. Sharma explained that if external authorities appeal to the university to take disciplinary action on a certain case, they will have no choice but to do so. He clarified that the decision to take disciplinary measures will be reserved by the University on a case by case basis.

The current Alcohol and Drugs Policy of Ashoka University asserts that the ‘use of alcohol, tobacco, and other illegal substances is not permitted in the residence hall’. Dealing in narcotics in residences or campus premises will also lead to students being expelled from residential housing in addition to further disciplinary action.

This advisory comes after a rave party in Sonipat was recently raided by Haryana Chief Minister Manohar Lal Khattar’s flying squad. 150 students in the Anjali Guesthouse, most of whom were intoxicated, were detained at Rai Police Station. This course of action was taken by the flying squad after they received information about frequent parties being thrown at the guesthouse.

Fake Lies | Thus Spoke Zarathustra

Rohan Parikh (Junior Correspondent at Free Press Pvt. Ltd.)

Fake Lies is a satire and humor series about Ashokan life and culture (or lack thereof).

Last Thursday was unlike any other at Hoshak University. In the wee hours of the morning, long after the case-by-case students had been carted back to the University and the lightweights had passed out, the mythic figure of Zarathustra appeared on the dingy dance-floor of the Sobriety is Sadism Point (SSP).

Hoshakans drunk on love and spiked alcohol stared as the bearded man with a snake coiled around his staff and eagle perched on his shoulder stepped into the light. A vegan began commenting on animal cruelty but Zarathustra silenced her merely with his steely gaze.

Thus spoke Zarathustra, “I come to you at this hour for you are all seriously jacked up. This is probably the only time you will listen without interrupting.” He looked around and grimaced. “Hoshakans, there is much in you that is contemptible, base, and downright laughable.”

A student whispered to her friend, “Fuckin’ first years.”

Illustration by Sakshi Agarwal, Class of 2020

“No!” boomed Zarathustra, “Everyone is responsible for this filth. The highest among you cower beneath a glass ceiling ten inches high. But you are not yet doomed. Hoshakans, I teach you the Overachiever. You are but a bridge, an overcoming, to the Overachiever.”

Upon being met with puzzled expressions, Zarathustra continued, “The University belongs to the Overachiever. The Overachiever laughs at you, Hoshakans, the way you laugh at the degenerates that live a few kilometers down south. The night is inky black, and the Overachiever is your pole star.”

At this point, a few couples scoffed and resumed making out. Some began haggling over the speakers. An indolent third-year student took a drag of her cigarette and blew the smoke right onto Zarathustra’s face. “We are the best of the country,” she proclaimed. “We don’t need no teachin’, Mr. Wannabe Jesus.”

Zarathustra sighed. “I have spent far too long in the mountains, listening to the brooks and the trees. My words are not for these pseudo-intellectuals. Must I smash their portable speakers before they listen? Must I put real lenses into their spectacles before they see? Or do they only believe gossip mongers like the PrEdict?”

Thus spoke Zarathustra, “Let me teach you the Last-waker. They are the fleas that hop about on campus, looking for walls to scribble on; they are the pests that go knocking on doors begging for free food; they are the vermin that steal WiFi passwords and ID cards. The Last-waker romps on campus in large groups, applies too much cologne or makeup, and thinks to spend five hundred bucks a day is ‘living cheaply’. Hoshakans, I see restlessness in your souls. Overcome, or you shall be condemned to be the despicable Last-waker.”

The Hoshakans blinked.

“Give us the Last-waker, O Zarathustra,” shouted someone, “and we shall make you a gift of the Overachiever.” And they laughed and clucked their tongues.

Zarathustra shook his head. “I am too early. My time has not yet arrived. Perhaps after the HoR collapses into irrelevance, after the Administration spends lakhs on purchasing some more pointless sculptures, after mere anarchy is loosed upon campus, I shall return.”

A heavily intoxicated student looking contemptuously at Zarathustra shouted, “Zarathustra, why are you so mean? Are we not doing enough already? You’re taut like a bow. Learn to relax. You should drink and enjoy like us. Just be happy.”

“What use have I of happiness?” spoke Zarathustra, “I have my work.”

A heavy silence befell the place. Zarathustra saw his words had an impact, for even the alcoholics put down their paper cups. They gathered around him. They realized Zarathustra was here for a purpose. He was not just a philosophy major on drugs.

“Why do you come to us, Zarathustra? Where are we headed?” someone asked from the herd.

Thus spoke Zarathustra, “I come to prevent you from heading towards the valley of the Last-waker, where you shall be a mere shadow of your true selves. There, in the valley, Hoshak will become the hedonist’s paradise, where work will be shunned and professors will be asked to give good grades regardless of performance. Individuals will feel safe speaking out only in anonymity, and tasks will be undertaken only so that they can be ended as soon as possible. When Hoshakans want to feel fraternity, they will create an Inclusivity Ministry, and when they want to feel love, they will consume substance. Respect will be superficial and camaraderie mere convenience.”

The music beats thrummed listlessly in the background, now just white noise. Hoshakans stood there, bewildered. What were they but the loud-mouthed, entitled, and snobby crowd that had successfully converted a space of radical development into a mere cog of the very mediocre system they claimed to hate so much?

“The Overachiever is your answer, Hoshakans,” boomed Zarathustra, “Become who you are!”

The first rays of sunlight pierced the scanty cloud cover and illuminated the shanty. Empty beer bottles and cigarette butts lay scattered on the ground. Fifty red-eyed Hoshakans stood transfixed on their spots. “O Zarathustra, does your Overachiever have a name? Whom do we aspire to?”

The serpent coiled on the staff hissed and the eagle perched on his shoulders spread its wings. Zarathustra slammed his staff on the ground.

“Yes, yes the Overachiever has a name. You shall overcome, and when you do, you shall be called Ashokans.”

Thus spoke Zarathustra.

Fake Lies | Privilege

Rohan Parikh (Junior Correspondent at Free Press Pvt. Ltd.)

Fake Lies is a satire and humor series about Ashokan life and culture (or lack thereof).

With the academic year coming to an end and recruitment for the new batch underway, once again Hoshak University finds itself standing at a fork in the road. The question of diversity in the student population looms large, and unlike the solitary traveler, Hoshak’s love for privatized, untrodden roads will only spell trouble.

The Administration has always been averse to the idea of ‘mingling with the hordes’. It is as opposed to acknowledging the C-word as it is to things like fee-stabilization, appropriate resource allocation, and holidays for national Indian festivals.

“We cannot compromise on the quality of students coming in,” said an Administration official in response to questions about the lack of diversity among the student population. We asked him what he meant by ‘quality’, to which he shrugged and said, “You know what I mean.”

The Administration’s stance is simple. According to them, it takes an English-medium education, tuitions for every subject over and above schooling, a resume proclaiming a history of internships, conferences, and competitions attended and won, and twenty-one lakh rupees to make it to Hoshak. Objective merit, in other words, is what counts.

Moreover, research has concluded that meritorious people love coffee. Thus, Hoshak conducts outreach programs in places where prospective students can sip their beverage warm or cold, whipped or blended, iced or non-iced, with cake or without, while hearing about Hoshak’s incredible student body from various backgrounds that runs wide, but never deep.

Despite the Administration’s indifference, the problem of the lack of inclusivity is all-too-evident, and over the years Hoshakans have attempted to tackle the problem.

A second-year undergraduate student attempted to grapple with the problem. “Like, yeah, inclusivity is a real problem, man. You know, we gotta represent.” Upon asking him to elaborate, after some hesitation, he continued, “Yeah, like, this is not cool, you know. Like, inclusivity, and representation, and… yeah, it’s important. We need more oppressed people.”

Most times, however, Hoshakans are articulate about their views and do not hesitate to voice them. Yet, often they fail to realize the fundamental contradiction between what they say and who they are.

Almost every night one can find a group of students sitting at The Humble Capitalist (THC) having heated discussions about inequality and privilege while munching on pizzas and pancakes. The most outlandish claims are argued for, and like good philosophers, they do not feel the need for practical experience. Theory suffices, always. Moreover, we found that such conversations become more fruitful when Hoshakans are drunk. Thursday nights, therefore, are when all of society’s problems are solved, once and for all.

As the problem of privilege becomes increasingly popular, the student body is coming to realize the great social capital it carries. Inclusivity has become the new feminism; understood by a few, but harped upon by all.

Now, instead of flaunting their wealth, Hoshakans are turning away from such vulgar displays of affluence. The ‘cultural intellectual’ is the new fashion statement on campus. An increasing number of people now tend to speak in broken Hindi, grow out their hair, wear round spectacles and kurtas, and carry satchels. Of course, when a MacBook emerges from the satchel, the image is broken.

The Student Government, keen on wanting to remain relevant in the eyes of the student body unfailingly raises a deafening call for inclusivity every election cycle. However, it seems not to be very concerned about how ‘real’ inclusivity is actually brought about, so long as empty words and phrases like ‘inclusion’, ‘lack of inclusion’, ‘#inclusivity’, ‘inclusivity ministry’ etc. are thrown around.

It has been noticed that an increasing number of people are taking an interest in the neighboring village of Hansawarpur. Learning about the life of ‘those people’ has almost become an obsession.

Illustration by Ketaki Mathur, Class of 2020

“I’m like, so excited,” quipped a first-year undergraduate, “my friends and I are going to the village. I’ve packed granola bars, mosquito repellent, and glucose water. We’re gonna, like, go there and take pictures, collect samples, and record observations in our log books. People say there are, like, wild animals out there. I haven’t told my parents, though. I don’t want them to be worried.”

The student is keen on writing a first-person story about the hardships of poverty for her creative-writing course.

“Hoshakans have the roar of a lion and the memory of a goldfish,” said an MLS student, “We raise a racket, but soon enough forget the reason for doing so. But we continue ranting nonetheless.”

The Free Press has realized that the hypocrite wears a mask not only to fool others but also oneself.

Fake Lies | Of Fests & Fantasies

Rohan Parikh (Junior Correspondent at Free Press Pvt. Ltd.)

Fake Lies is a satire series about Ashokan life and culture (or lack thereof).

Illustration by Ketaki Mathur (For representational purposes only)

It is late February and lovelorn Hoshak University is eagerly awaiting the second edition of its beloved annual fest- Ranjaana. Conceptualised two years ago as a solution to the ‘stagnation crisis’ that has engulfed the campus, the fest is expected to help retain a sense of normalcy in the student body.

Two years since the inception of Hoshak University, the Administration noticed an increasing difficulty for the students to remain satiated with life on campus. The extravagant facilities, the vast range of food options and even the fluid residence access policy seemed inadequate, for students sought the ultimate freedom — the kind one finds only on the other side of the electric fences.

A staff member of the Administration put it succinctly, “Ever since its inception, Hoshak has been painfully aware of its seclusion from the real world. Everything stagnates, and predictably. Everything ‘is the same’ here — the buildings, the trees, the people, the conversations, even the form and content of outrage. You can definitely have too much of this place.”

This stagnation gave birth to several problems. Chief among them was the erratic attendance for lectures, reluctance to stay for the ‘fourth year’ (the Almost Settled Programme, ASP), haphazard graffiti on walls and perhaps most notoriously, the birth of two local distilleries (allegedly run by twins) situated right outside campus.

The administration even received an anonymous note from an English Major who was evidently fond of Yeats. It simply said, “Students are falling apart; the Administration cannot hold.”

After long deliberation, a solution was devised, one which would effectively burst the bubble without actually having the students leave campus.

Put simply, Ranjaana is one big metaphor. The fest secretary explained the driving idea behind the fest. “It’s obvious; Hoshakans are adventurers by heart. They want to be free. And what better way to realise that freedom when you’re stuck in a tiny campus than to organise an entire fest that conjures the illusion of travel?”

Genius.

On a twenty — five acre campus, Ranjaana’s Organising Group (OG) marks out ‘zones’ — various spots around the Frisbee field that students can travel to in order to experience different foods, games, and people — giving the campus a whole new feel where students can ‘discover passion and explore purpose’ — as the Hoshakan motto spells out.

The implications of this are far-reaching. On the first count, the Administration believes Ranjaana can help minimise the problem of the ‘weekend dissidents’. These are the people who leave campus on the weekends, causing those who stay behind to feel exceptionally trapped. The OG, if successful in creating a strong and lasting metaphor, could persuade the weekend dissidents not to leave, since, after all, ‘travel is right here’.

Secondly, Ranjaana is expected to be a great outreach endeavour. “The indicator,” says an OG member, “of the success of the fest will be the number of applicants from other universities who apply for admission here, convinced that the ‘real world’ is not in the grimy streets outside, but right here, in Hoshak.”

The ‘outsiders’, in fact, will only fuel the illusion, since Hoshakans will not only see new faces on campus, they will do so as they travel. The possibilities of chance encounters, a concept almost alien despite the size of the campus, will be rekindled.

The coming weekend is expected to be one of fun, frolic, and adventure. Hoshakans will realise that lives of people of the outside world and their Instagram feeds (unlike the average Hoshakan’s), are not necessarily consistent. This is expected to create a sense of ‘authenticity’ among the students, as opposed to the ‘fake-ness’ of the outside world and its people.

In sum: the Hoshakan spirit will soar.

Every fest deserves a good run-up to the event. Anticipation and excitement is largely a product of good marketing. The organisers of this fest know this all too well. This season, they managed to create an air of great mystery around it to garner curiosity. So much so that up until two weeks ago everyone was left wondering if the fest was even happening?

The OG, however, has promised us that it is. Several students have ‘begun packing their backpacks’ in eager anticipation of the fest. They look forward to taking a trip down memory lane and rediscovering the campus. Evidently, the metaphor is a success.

An excited first-year undergraduate excitedly told us about her excitement about the fest. “Like, everyone said it was great last year. Apparently, it was like a private party. Very few outsiders. But, like, they say this year will be different. I don’t mind much, I guess. I could get used to having a bunch of people on campus. I’ll know what it’ll be like when the new batch comes in. God, I can’t even imagine…”

The undersecretary of the fest revealed her hopes for the successful execution of the fest.

“As of now, Ranjaana is our one hope to maintain peace of mind on campus. Such adventure — crazed behaviour, if not channelled properly, can be disastrous. It’s alright if Hoshakans think outside the box and whatever, but they must eventually learn to be content with the box they’re living in.”

The Free Press hopes Ranjaana proves to be the force that settles the matter once and for all.

Rohan Parikh is a humble creation of society and its many conventions. He has followed norms ardently and to the best of his abilities- so much so that sometimes the banality of the world feels all too real. He can’t help but laugh; He wants others to get in on the joke.

They Are Watching Us

By Gauri Bansal, Class of 2018

In light of the recent installation of new surveillance cameras in the residences, The Edict recorded the views of various students around campus and what they feel about these recent additions. The cameras have stirred up debates across the student body. These policy decisions have made them feel alienated from the entire process and question the administration regarding its relevance. Here is what they had to say.

Despite having the clarification from the administration, most of student body seem to be unhappy with the new surveillance cameras. As mentioned by the students, they are promoting feelings of mistrust and doubt amongst the students. On one hand, students are worried about this being an invasion into their privacy and on the other they are also worried about the dissonance between what they learn inside their classrooms and what is being practiced outside of it. The student body has been clearly eliminated from this entire process. As being the ones who shall face the direct consequences of these new policies, the students feel that they should be kept in the loop before such decisions are taken.